The Ballad of Settling for Less

The Ballad of Settling for Less

by Happy Hiram

She knew she was clever as
But let her brother get the laugh
Straight women are hard to come by
She says as she pries
excess hair from her eyes
"I will always be wanted by SumDumGuy!"

Heels so she can't run away
Why wouldn't she want to stay
Eat like a fly while he is obscene,
Well anything can replace
what's waiting at her place
Wet stockings and a Lean Cuisine.

Along came Ferd,
and it seemed absurd
But he had his pick of the women
If he stood her up twice
Or said things not so nice
Well that was the price - and her burden.

The "white man" they say
Had bills to pay
for excepting the status of domination
Well squeezing your IQ score
in a "blonde" lifestyle is more
Of a "bust" than a winning sensation.

Always the short end,
The sticky, self-fend
But women are the stronger of the breed.
That comes with deferring
The reality blurring
Between what's true vs.
What you really need.

So tip your hat to the gals
The lovers and pals
Standing by us as they shatter
They make it okay
To be Ferds all day
And pretend that they just do not matter.

The slave of the slave
As Lennon rightly said
Is the victimizer of herself
If she had any wits
You wouldn't put up with us sh!ts
But we knocked her so long
She a pelt.

Please write encomiums
Giving love no opprobrium
For women like that sort of thing
They can't see the collar
The yoke and the tiller
Because it all has such a lovely ring.